Partner verification: Restoring shattered images of our intimates.

When spouses received feedback that disconfirmed their impressions of their partners, they attempted to undermine that feedback during subsequent interactions with these partners. Such partner verification activities occurred whether partners construed the feedback as overly favorable or overly unfavorable. Furthermore, because spouses tended to see their partners as their partners saw themselves, their efforts to restore their impressions of partners often worked hand-in-hand with partners' efforts to verify their own views. Finally, support for self-verification theory emerged in that participants were more intimate with spouses who verified their self-views, whether their self-views happened to be positive or negative. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Allure of negative feedback: Self-verification strivings among depressed persons.

Proposes that people with negative self-views are rejected because they gravitate to partners who view them unfavorably. In relation to nondepressed college students (n?=?28), depressives (n?=?13) preferred interaction partners who evaluated them unfavorably (Study 1). Similarly, in relation to nondepressives (n?=?106), depressives (n?=?10) preferred friends or dating partners who evaluated them unfavorably (Study 2). Dysphorics (n?=?6) were more inclined to seek unfavorable feedback from their roommates than were nondepressives (n?=?16); feedback-seeking activities of dysphorics were also associated with later rejection (Study 3). Finally, people with negative self-views (n?=?37) preferentially solicited unfavorable feedback, although receiving such feedback made them unhappy, in comparison with people with positive self-views (n?=?42; Study 4). It seems a desire for self-verification compels people with negative self-views to seek unfavorable appraisals. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Outcasts in a white-lie society: The enigmatic worlds of people with negative self-conceptions.

Although people with negative self-views want to be liked at some level, they repeatedly enact behaviors that alienate their relationship partners. Why? One possibility is that such persons reside in social environments that offer them little insight into what they are doing wrong. Although persons who had negative self-views elicited unfavorable reactions, they did not appreciate this fact because their interaction partners concealed their aversion behind a facade of kind words. To be sure, the interaction partners of people with negative self-views tended to leak their disdain nonverbally. These negative nonverbal messages proved to be uninformative, however, because people with negative self-views overlooked them. These data imply that people with negative self-views may live in social worlds in which they are deprived of corrective feedback that could allow them to improve themselves. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Why people self-verify.

Why do people choose interaction partners who see them as they see themselves? Self-verification theorists propose that a desire to bolster perceptions of predictability and control underlies such activities. In contrast, advocates of positivity strivings argue that people choose such interaction partners in the hope of making themselves feel good. Two studies tested these competing explanations by examining the spontaneous verbalizations of participants as they chose interaction partners. The results suggest that positivity as well as self-verification strivings caused participants with positive self-views to choose partners who appraised them favorably. The epistemic considerations underlying self-verification processes, however, best explained why people with negative self-views chose partners who appraised them unfavorably. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

What men want: The role of reflective opposite-sex normative preferences in alcohol use among college women.

Misperceptions of peer drinking norms have been found to be strongly associated with individual drinking behavior, especially for proximal reference groups such as same-sex friends. Less studied are the effects of perceived preferences from the opposite sex on alcohol use; that is, the behaviors an individual believes the opposite sex prefers from them. Research suggests that these perceived “reflective” normative preferences may be particularly salient among college women, who may drink in pursuit of intimate relationships and positive attention from male peers. Heterosexual undergraduate students from two universities participated in this project. Females answered questions regarding the amount of alcohol they believe a typical male would like his female friends, dates, or romantic partners to drink. Males answered the same questions, stating their actual preferences. Results showed that females overestimate the amount of alcohol males want their female friends, dating partners, and sexual partners to drink, and that this misperception was associated with their drinking behavior, even after controlling for perceived same-sex norms. These results suggest that reflective normative feedback may offer a powerful new tool for female-targeted interventions. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Forgiveness in marriage: Putting the benefits into context.

The current longitudinal study examined the consequences of spouses' tendencies to forgive their partners over the first 2 years of 72 new marriages. Though positive main effects between forgiveness and marital outcomes emerged cross-sectionally, spouses' tendencies to forgive their partners interacted with the frequency of those partners' negative verbal behaviors to predict changes in marital outcomes longitudinally. Specifically, whereas spouses married to partners who rarely behaved negatively tended to remain more satisfied over time to the extent that they were more forgiving, spouses married to partners who frequently behaved negatively tended to experience steeper declines in satisfaction to the extent that they were more forgiving. Similar patterns emerged for changes in the severity of husbands' problems, such that husbands married to wives who frequently behaved negatively reported sharper increases in problem severity to the extent that they were more forgiving but reported more stable problem severity to the extent that they were less forgiving. These findings question whether all spouses should benefit from forgiveness interventions and thus highlight the need for further research on the most appropriate targets for such interventions. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

The person-positivity bias.

A "person-positivity bias" is proposed such that attitude objects are evaluated more favorably the more they resemble individual humans. Because perceived similarity should increase liking, individuals should attract more favorable evaluations than should less personal attitude objects, such as inanimate objects or even aggregated or grouped versions of the same persons. Findings from 11 studies with undergraduate Ss support this view. Individuals were overwhelmingly evaluated favorably. Personal versions of a given attitude object were evaluated more favorably than impersonal versions of it. Individual persons, as wholes, were evaluated more favorably than were their specific attributes. Individuals were evaluated more favorably than were the same individuals in aggregates or groups. Attitudes toward groups were cognitively compartmentalized from attitudes toward individual group members. Perceivers tended to underestimate the positivity of their own and others' attitudes toward individual persons. (38 ref) (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Self-esteem and the quest for felt security: How perceived regard regulates attachment processes.

The authors proposed that personal feelings of self-esteem foster the level of confidence in a partner 's regard critical for satisfying attachments. Dating and married couples described themselves, their partners, how they thought their partners saw them, and how they wanted their partners to see them on a variety of interpersonal qualities. The results revealed that low self-esteem individuals dramatically underestimated how positively their partners saw them. Such unwarranted and unwanted insecurities were associated with less generous perceptions of partners and lower relationship well-being. The converse was true for high self-esteem individuals. A longitudinal examination of the dating couple revealed that the vulnerabilities of lows were only exacerbated over time. A dependency regulation model is proposed, wherein felt security in a partner's perceived regard is suggested as a prime mechanism linking self-esteem to relational well-being. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2011 APA, all rights reserved)     

The benefits of positive illusions: Idealization and the construction of satisfaction in close relationships.

It is proposed that satisfaction is associated with idealistic, rather than realistic, perceptions of one's partner. To provide baselines for assessing relationship illusions, both members of married and dating heterosexual couples were asked to rate themselves and their partners on a variety of interpersonal attributes. Participants also rated the typical and ideal partner on these attributes. Path analyses revealed that individuals' impressions of their partners were more a mirror of their self-images and ideals than a reflection of their partners' self-reported attributes. Overall, intimates saw their partners in a more positive light than their partners saw themselves. Furthermore, these idealized constructions predicted greater satisfaction. Individuals were happier in their relationships when they idealized their partners and their partners idealized them. Taken together, these results suggest that a certain degree of idealization or illusion may be a critical feature of satisfying dating and even marital relationships. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Self-monitoring and dating relationships.

Four investigations, with 479 university students, examined the involvement of self-monitoring propensities in dating relationships. Studies 1 and 2 examined willingness to change dating partners and form close, intimate dating relationships with other partners. Only Ss high in self-monitoring, as measured by the Self-Monitoring Scale, were willing to terminate current relationships in favor of alternative partners. In Study 3, for those involved in multiple dating relationships, high self-monitoring Ss reported having dated a greater number of partners in the preceding year than low self-monitoring Ss; for those in steady, exclusive dating relationships, low self-monitoring Ss reported having dated their current partner for considerably longer than high self-monitoring individuals. Study 4 examined growth of intimacy in dating relationships. The link between length of relationship and level of intimacy was more pronounced for low than high self-monitoring Ss. Findings suggest that high self-monitoring individuals adopt an "uncommitted" and low self-monitoring individuals a "committed" orientation toward dating relationships. Implications for understanding the evolution of intimate relationships, including marital ones, are discussed. (17 ref) (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Medical students' attitudes regarding the use of life-sustaining treatments for themselves and for elderly persons

This study investigated students' wishes regarding the use of life-sustaining treatments (LST) in different health conditions compared with their evaluations of the wishes of elderly people, and with reports of a group of elderly people about themselves. Data were collected from two consecutive classes of first year medical students (n = 101), and a random sample of Israeli elderly aged 70+ (n = 987) who responded to fixed-choice questions regarding their will to live and wishes for three kinds of LST in a number of hypothetical illness conditions. The students were also asked to assess elderly's wishes. Students ranked the will to live of elderly persons significantly lower than their own. The elderly ranked their will to live significantly lower than did the students, but higher than the students assumed about them, indicating that although the will to live is weaker among older people, it is stronger than young persons believe. With regard to the use of LST, students believe that old people want less LST than themselves, but the elderly want even less LST than assumed by the students. The best predictors of students' wishes for themselves were fear of dying and religiosity. Fear of dying, the students' self-esteem and religiosity were the best predictors of their evaluations of the elderly's wishes. The results indicate that both the elderly and the students have a relatively strong will to live, but this desire is dependent on quality of life. The implications of this study for medical education are discussed.     

When the head protects the heart: Empathic accuracy in dating relationships.

This study investigated circumstances in which romantic partners may be motivated to inaccurately infer each other's thoughts and feelings. Dating couples rated and discussed pictures of opposite-sex people with whom they might later interact in a dating context. Couples evaluated either highly attractive persons or less attractive persons. As predicted, dating partners who were close, who were insecure about their relationship, and who evaluated highly attractive opposite-sex persons displayed the least empathic accuracy when they tried to infer each other's actual thoughts and feelings from the videotape of the rating and discussion task. The effects of these variables were additive, and they were mediated by the degree of perceived threat to the relationship. Theoretical implications of these findings are discussed. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Equity and premarital sex.

Investigated whether formal equity theory can provide insight into dating couples' intimate romantic and sexual relationships. It was hypothesized that if people feel they are getting less from a relationship than they deserve, they feel entitled to "call the shots" sexually. In light of the double standard, underbenefited males were expected to demand that their partners go fairly far sexually. In contrast, underbenefited females were expected to insist that their partners wait until they were ready for sex. Interview and questionnaire data were obtained from 227 men and 310 women who were casual or steady daters. Data were analyzed as to (a) relationship equity/inequity, (b) contentment/distress, (c) the existence of a double standard, (d) the degree of sexuality in the relationship, and (e) the stability of the relationship. Results do not confirm the hypotheses: Couples were most intimate in the equitable relationships. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Self-concept of the married psychiatric patient and his mate's perception of him.

26 married psychiatric patients and their spouses were administered a 50-item questionnnaire to assess their concepts of themselves and of each other 1 wk. after acute hospitalization and then again 7 wk. later. Ss' initial self-images and their mates' perception of them were both more negative than their own and their spouses' images of the average person. Ss and their mates viewed the S as the most disturbed family member with both seeing the spouse in a more positive light than the S. Ss' self-images improved during hospitalization. The spouses' images of the Ss also tended to become more positive, but the spouses still viewed the Ss more negatively than themselves. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

To Know You Is to Love You: The Implications of Global Adoration and Specific Accuracy for Marital Relationships.

Despite the strong positive feelings that characterize newlyweds, many marriages end in disappointment. To understand this shift, the authors argue that although newlyweds' global relationship evaluations may be uniformly positive, not all spouses base their global adoration on an accurate perception of their partner's specific qualities. Two longitudinal studies confirmed that whereas most newlyweds enhanced their partners at the level of their global perceptions, spouses varied significantly in their perceptions of their partners' specific qualities. For wives, but not for husbands, more accurate specific perceptions were associated with their supportive behaviors, feelings of control in the marriage, and whether or not the marriage ended in divorce. Thus, love grounded in specific accuracy appears to be stronger than love absent accuracy. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Knowing me-knowing you: Reported personality and trait discrepancies as predictors of marital idealization between long-wed spouses.

In previous research, marital idealization has emerged as a significant predictor of adaptation to widowhood, the psychological well-being of spouses of persons with dementia, and the physical health of older married adults over time. Despite the adaptive value of marital idealization, conceptual confusion regarding this phenomenon persists. To this end, the present study examines the degree to which marital idealization is predicted by personality traits relative to partner perceptions of their spouse's personality, and discrepancies between self- vs. spousal reports for both husbands and wives. Multilevel models were computed on the basis of responses from 125 couples married an average of 34 years. Marital idealization by husbands was predicted by his personality (i.e., lower neuroticism, openness to experience, agreeableness, and higher conscientiousness). In contrast, marital idealization by wives was predicted by trait discrepancies (i.e., being seen, and seeing one's spouse, more positively than she or he sees him- or herself). Conscientiousness emerged as the trait for which between-sex differences were most pronounced, whereas both conscientiousness and agreeableness were the traits most broadly associated with marital idealization by both spouses (intracouple trait averages and discrepancies between spousal reports). These results are discussed in relation to gender socialization and between-sex differences. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Graduate student couples: Dyadic satisfaction in relation to type of partnership and demographic characteristics.

71 married and cohabiting graduate student couples (aged 21–61 yrs) responded individually to questionnaires that queried Ss on demographic characteristics, dyadic satisfaction (DS), and dyadic trust (DT). There were 26 symmetrical couples in which both partners were students and 45 asymmetrical couples in which only 1 partner was a student. No significant results were found for married couples with respect to symmetry on overall relationship satisfaction. Married partners, however, did show significantly greater DT compared with cohabiting couples. The finding that higher income men enjoy greater DS than lower income men suggests that financial security is an important factor for men to experience happiness in their intimate relationships. (French abstract) (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Spouses of late-life problem drinkers: Functioning, coping responses, and family contexts.

This prospective study focused on spouses of late-life problem drinkers. At initial assessment, 87 spouses of late-life problem drinkers reported poorer health-related and social functioning, more reliance on cognitive coping strategies, and more shared, cognitive avoidance coping than did 87 spouses of nonproblem drinkers; they also reported more stressful, less supportive family contexts. 22 spouses of individuals who would remit over a 1-yr interval did not appear to provide their partners with an impetus for recovery. However, spouses of remitted problem drinkers improved in several areas over the 1-yr follow-up. By contrast, 65 spouses of nonremitted partners continued to function more poorly and reported less supportive relationships with partners and escalating conflicts with children. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

When and why do ideal partner preferences affect the process of initiating and maintaining romantic relationships?

Three studies explored how the traits that people ideally desire in a romantic partner, or ideal partner preferences, intersect with the process of romantic relationship initiation and maintenance. Two attraction experiments in the laboratory found that, when participants evaluated a potential romantic partner's written profile, they expressed more romantic interest in a partner whose traits were manipulated to match (vs. mismatch) their idiosyncratic ideals. However, after a live interaction with the partner, the match vs. mismatch manipulation was no longer associated with romantic interest. This pattern appeared to have emerged because participants reinterpreted the meaning of the traits as they applied to the partner, a context effect predicted by classic models of person perception (S. E. Asch, 1946). Finally, a longitudinal study of middle-aged adults demonstrated that participants evaluated a current romantic partner (but not a partner who was merely desired) more positively to the extent that the partner matched their overall pattern of ideals across several traits; the match in level of ideals (i.e., high vs. low ratings) was not relevant to participants' evaluations. In general, the match between ideals and a partner's traits may predict relational outcomes when participants are learning about a partner in the abstract and when they are actually in a relationship with the partner, but not when considering potential dating partners they have met in person. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2011 APA, all rights reserved)     

Kindred spirits? The benefits of egocentrism in close relationships.

The authors argue that people are happiest in their relationships when they believe they have found a kindred spirit, someone who understands them and shares their experiences. As reality may not always be that accommodating, however, intimates may find this sense of confidence by egocentrically assuming that their partners are mirrors of themselves. Both members of dating and married couples completed measures of satisfaction and felt understanding. They also described their own and their partners' traits, values, and day-to-day feelings. The results revealed that people in satisfying and stable relationships assimilated their partners to themselves, perceiving similarities that were not evident in reality. Such egocentrism predicted greater feelings of being understood, and feeling understood mediated the link between egocentrism and satisfaction in marriage. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)