Self-determination and conflict in romantic relationships.

Four studies examined associations between E. L. Deci and R. M. Ryan's (1985, 2000) construct of autonomy, responses to relationship disagreements, and dissatisfaction after conflict. In Study 1, diary data showed that trait autonomy predicted relationship autonomy, which in turn predicted relative satisfaction after disagreements. In Study 2, trait autonomy predicted relationship autonomy, which was associated with less defensive and more understanding responses to conflict. Studies 3 and 4 examined whether one's partner's relationship autonomy uniquely predicted reported and observed behavior during conflict. Autonomous reasons for being in the relationship (of both self and partner) predicted both reported and observed responses to conflict and feelings of satisfaction. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Optimism: An enduring resource for romantic relationships.

This study extends research on the adaptive aspects of dispositional optimism to romantic relationships. We hypothesized that optimism would be positively linked to cooperative problem solving in romantic relationships, given previous research indicating that optimists are likely to use approach coping strategies. Results indicated that optimism was linked to satisfying and happy romantic relationships, and a substantial portion of this association was mediated by reports of cooperative problem solving. Moreover, optimism predicted relative increases in relationship satisfaction over a 2-year interval. All told, these results suggest that optimism may serve as an enduring resource for romantic unions. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Only because I love you: Why people make and why they break promises in romantic relationships.

People make and break promises frequently in interpersonal relationships. In this article, we investigate the processes leading up to making promises and the processes involved in keeping them. Across 4 studies, we demonstrate that people who had the most positive relationship feelings and who were most motivated to be responsive to the partner's needs made bigger promises than did other people but were not any better at keeping them. Instead, promisers' self-regulation skills, such as trait conscientiousness, predicted the extent to which promises were kept or broken. In a causal test of our hypotheses, participants who were focused on their feelings for their partner promised more, whereas participants who generated a plan of self-regulation followed through more on their promises. Thus, people were making promises for very different reasons (positive relationship feelings, responsiveness motivation) than what made them keep these promises (self-regulation skills). Ironically, then, those who are most motivated to be responsive may be most likely to break their romantic promises, as they are making ambitious commitments they will later be unable to keep. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2011 APA, all rights reserved)     

Intergenerational transmission of aggression in romantic relationships: The moderating role of attachment security.

This prospective study used longitudinal, multi-reporter data to examine the influence of parents’ marital relationship functioning on subsequent adolescent romantic relationships. Consistent with Bryant and Conger’s (2002) model for the Development of Early Adult Romantic Relationships (DEARR), we found that interactional styles, more specifically paternal aggression and satisfaction, exhibited in parents’ marital relationship when their adolescents were age 13 were predictive of qualities of the adolescent’s romantic relationships 5 years later. Continuities were domain specific: paternal satisfaction predicted adolescent satisfaction and paternal aggression predicted adolescent aggression. Attachment security moderated the link between paternal aggression and subsequent adolescent aggression, with continuities between negative conflictual styles across relationships reduced for secure adolescents. Results are interpreted as suggesting that attachment may help attenuated the transmission of destructive conflict strategies across generations. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Assessing decision making in young adult romantic relationships.

Romantic relationships among young adults are rich with ambiguity and without a clear, universal progression emphasizing the need for active decision making. Lack of active decision making in romantic relationships can lead to increases in constraints (e.g. pregnancy, shared living space or finances) that promote the continuation of relationships that would have otherwise ended, leading to increased risk of relationship distress. Because there is no available assessment of thoughtfulness regarding relationship decisions, the authors of the present studies report data on the development of one such scale, the Relationship Deciding Scale (RDS). Study 1 (N = 995) reveals the factor structure of the RDS and provides reliability data for the emergent subscales. In Study 2 (N = 963), the obtained three-factor structure (Relationship Confidence, Knowledge of Warning Signs, and Deciding) is tested via confirmatory factor analysis, demonstrates convergent and discriminant validity, and is shown to predict relationship characteristics 14 weeks later. Study 3 (N = 805) shows the sensitivity of the three factors to change through examination of the influence of a semester-long intervention targeted at increasing decision making in relationships. Use of this scale for identifying and intervening with couples or individuals who lack active decision making in relationships may decrease their risk for future relationship distress. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2011 APA, all rights reserved)     

The role of romantic/intimate relationships in the well-being of incarcerated females.

This study examined the role of romantic and/or intimate relationships on female offenders' well-being and institutional behavior while incarcerated. Relationship satisfaction and social support were additional variables examined for association with well-being. Participants were 211 adult female inmates from a midwestern department of corrections. Results indicated increased anger, hostility, and number of disciplinary infractions for female inmates involved in romantic relationships as compared to those not involved in relationships. Findings also indicated increased anger and punishments for inmates in romantic relationships with females within the prison as compared to those in romantic relationships with males outside of the prison. Relationship satisfaction and social support did not significantly predict well-being or institutional behavior. Implications of the current findings are discussed. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Let's get serious: Communicating commitment in romantic relationships.

Are men or women more likely to confess love first in romantic relationships? And how do men and women feel when their partners say “I love you”? An evolutionary–economics perspective contends that women and men incur different potential costs and gain different potential benefits from confessing love. Across 6 studies testing current and former romantic relationships, we found that although people think that women are the first to confess love and feel happier when they receive such confessions, it is actually men who confess love first and feel happier when receiving confessions. Consistent with predictions from our model, additional studies have shown that men's and women's reactions to love confessions differ in important ways depending on whether the couple has engaged in sexual activity. These studies have demonstrated that saying and hearing “I love you” has different meanings depending on who is doing the confessing and when the confession is being made. Beyond romantic relationships, an evolutionary–economics perspective suggests that displays of commitment in other types of relationships—and reactions to these displays—will be influenced by specific, functional biases. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2011 APA, all rights reserved)     

Attachment and the experience and expression of emotions in romantic relationships: A developmental perspective.

In this longitudinal study, the authors tested a developmental hypothesis derived from attachment theory and recent empirical findings. Target participants were 78 individuals who have been studied intensively from infancy into their mid-20s. When targets were 20-23 years old, the authors tested the way in which interpersonal experiences at 3 pivotal points in each target's earlier social development--infancy/early childhood, early elementary school, and adolescence--predicted the pattern of positive versus negative emotions experienced with his or her romantic partner. A double-mediation model revealed that targets classified as securely attached at 12 months old were rated as more socially competent during early elementary school by their teachers. Targets' social competence, in turn, forecasted their having more secure relationships with close friends at age 16, which in turn predicted more positive daily emotional experiences in their adult romantic relationships (both self- and partner-reported) and less negative affect in conflict resolution and collaborative tasks with their romantic partners (rated by observers). These results are discussed in terms of attachment theory and how antecedent life experiences may indirectly shape events in current relationships. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2011 APA, all rights reserved)     

Parental attachment and romantic relationships: Associations with emotional disturbance during late adolescence.

In this study, the authors examined cross-sectional and longitudinal associations between late adolescents' parental attachment and emotional disturbance. Specifically, they investigated whether associations between parental attachment and emotional disturbance were less strong for adolescents with romantic partners, and whether the quality and duration of romantic relationships were related to adolescents' emotional disturbance. Data were collected from 568 adolescents, ages 15-19, interviewed in 1994 and 1997. Cross-sectional analyses showed significant associations between parental attachment and emotional disturbance, but no systematic longitudinal relationships were found. Links cross-sectionally, but not longitudinally, between parental attachment and emotional disturbance were less strong for youths with romantic partners. Neither the quality nor the duration of romantic relationships was related to emotional disturbance in this age group. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Postplacement relationships between birth mothers and their romantic partners.

Using a mixed-methods approach, the understudied population of birth mothers who placed their infants for adoption 12–20 years ago was explored in the context of their romantic relationships. In a semistructured interview, 104 birth mothers answered detailed questions about their romantic relationships and adoption-related experiences. All birth mothers had disclosed the adoption placement to their romantic partners, and most had done so early because they wanted to be truthful about their past. On average, the birth mothers were satisfied with their romantic relationships and almost half did not believe that the adoption had affected it. Regarding contact in the adoption, a majority of the birth mothers' romantic partners (63.5%) were not directly involved in contact with the adoptive family or adopted youth. Implications about how adoption is perceived and processed within intimate relationships are discussed. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2011 APA, all rights reserved)     

Reflections on the costs and benefits of exacting revenge in romantic relationships.

The present investigation explored individuals' (N = 58) retrospective accounts of the costs and benefits associated with acts of revenge they had committed against a current or past romantic partner. Content analysis of participants' responses to a semistructured interview revealed that, consistent with claims that revenge can have constructive as well as destructive consequences, participants described both good and bad outcomes associated with their vengeful acts. There was little evidence, however, that they perceived the consequences of revenge as achieving prosocial ends (i.e., as having benefited their partners/relationships or others) and, overall, participants seemed to believe that they, rather than others, had profited from their vengeful actions. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2011 APA, all rights reserved)     

Seeking security or growth: A regulatory focus perspective on motivations in romantic relationships.

Using a multimethod approach, we examined how regulatory focus shapes people's perceptual, behavioral, and emotional responses in different situations in romantic relationships. We first examined how chronic regulatory focus affects romantic partners' support perceptions and problem-solving behaviors while they were engaged in a conflict resolution discussion (Study 1). Next, we experimentally manipulated regulatory focus and tested its effects on partner perceptions when individuals recalled a prior conflict resolution discussion (Study 2). We then examined how chronic regulatory focus influences individuals' emotional responses to hypothetical relationship events (Study 3) and identified specific partner behaviors to which people should respond with regulatory goal-congruent emotions (Study 4). Strongly prevention-focused people perceived their partners as more distancing and less supportive during conflict (Studies 1 and 2), approached conflict resolution by discussing the details related to the conflict (Study 1), and experienced a negative relationship outcome with more agitation (Study 3). Strongly promotion-focused people perceived their partners as more supportive and less distancing (Studies 1 and 2), displayed more creative conflict resolution behavior (Study 1), and experienced a negative relationship outcome with more sadness and a favorable outcome with more positive emotions (Study 3). In Study 4, recalling irresponsible and responsible partner behaviors was associated with experiencing more prevention-focused emotions, whereas recalling affectionate and neglectful partner behaviors was associated with more promotion-focused emotions. The findings show that regulatory focus and approach–avoidance motivations influence certain interpersonal processes in similar ways, but regulatory focus theory also generates novel predictions on which approach–avoidance models are silent. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2011 APA, all rights reserved)     

Longitudinal associations between hostility in adolescents' family relationships and friendships and hostility in their romantic relationships.

This study examined longitudinal predictors of hostility in adolescents' romantic relationships. The sample included 110 adolescents and their parents from 72 families. Observational measures of parents' marital hostility and parent-child hostility and self-reports of hostility in close friendships were collected when adolescents ranged from 14 to 16 years old. Three years later, when they were 17 to 19 years old, adolescents reported on the hostility in their romantic relationships. Results indicated that hostility in parents' marital relationships and in adolescents' friendships accounted for independent variance in hostility in adolescents' later romantic relationships. Results highlight the importance of both family relationships and friendships for predicting hostility in adolescents' romantic relationships over time. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

More than words: Reframing compliments from romantic partners fosters security in low self-esteem individuals.

Although people with low self-esteem (LSEs) doubt their value to their romantic partners, they tend to resist positive feedback from their partners. This resistance undermines their relationships and has been difficult to overcome in past research. The authors investigated whether LSEs could be induced to take their partners' kind words to heart by manipulating how abstractly they described a recent compliment. In 3 studies, LSEs felt more positively about the compliments, about themselves, and about their relationships--as positively as people with high self-esteem (HSEs) felt--when they were encouraged to describe the meaning and significance of the compliments. The effects of this abstract meaning manipulation were still evident 2 weeks later. Thus, when prompted, LSEs can reframe affirmations from their partners to be as meaningful as HSEs generally believe them to be and, consequently, can feel just as secure and satisfied with their romantic relationships. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2011 APA, all rights reserved)     

The Real Relationship Inventory: Development and psychometric investigation of the client form.

The development and validation of a client version of the Real Relationship Inventory (RRI-C) is reported. Using a sample of clients (n = 94) who were currently in psychotherapy, a 24-item measure was developed consisting of two subscales (Realism and Genuineness) and a total score. This 24-item version and other measures used for validation were completed by 93 additional clients. Results of the present study offer initial support for the validity and reliability of the RRI-C. The RRI-C correlated significantly in theoretically expected ways with measures of the client-rated working alliance and therapists' congruence, clients' observing ego, and client ratings of client and therapist real relationship on an earlier measure of the real relationship (Eugster & Wampold, 1996). A nonsignificant relation was found between the RRI-C and a measure of social desirability, providing support for discriminant validity. A confirmatory factor analysis supported the two theorized factors of the RRI-C. The authors discuss the importance of measuring clients' perceptions of the real relationship. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Features of borderline personality disorder, perceived childhood emotional invalidation, and dysfunction within current romantic relationships.

The mechanisms through which current romantic relationship dysfunction develops in individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) symptoms are still unclear. One possible pathway may be childhood experiences of emotional invalidation by parents, which may result in the development of poor social problem-solving skills or cognitive responses such as splitting, which impair current romantic relationships. This study examines the relationship between features of BPD and current romantic relationship dysfunction, and demonstrates that perceived emotional invalidation by parents during childhood mediates the relationship between BPD features and current romantic relationship dysfunction. Structural equations modeling was used to test the hypothesized model in 758 young adults in an ethnically diverse community sample. The proposed model fit the data well; perceived childhood emotional invalidation partially mediated the relationship between features of BPD and romantic relationship dysfunction, even when controlling for the presence of a major depressive episode in the last year. The findings of this study suggest that individuals with features of BPD experience relationship dysfunction that cannot be accounted for by comorbid depression and that perceived childhood emotional invalidation may contribute to these problems. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Beyond global sociosexual orientations: A more differentiated look at sociosexuality and its effects on courtship and romantic relationships.

Sociosexuality is usually assessed as the overall orientation toward uncommitted sex, although this global approach may mask unique contributions of different components. In a large online study (N = 2,708) and a detailed behavioral assessment of 283 young adults (both singles and couples) with a 1-year follow-up, the authors established 3 theoretically meaningful components of sociosexuality: past behavioral experiences, the attitude toward uncommitted sex, and sociosexual desire (all measured by a revised version of the Sociosexual Orientation Inventory). Discriminant validity was shown with regard to (a) their factorial structure, (b) sex differences, (c) many established correlates of sociosexuality, and (d) the prediction of observed flirting behavior when meeting an attractive opposite-sex stranger, even down to the level of objectively coded behaviors, as well as (e) the self-reported number of sexual partners and (f) changes in romantic relationship status over the following year. Within couples, the 3 components also showed distinct degrees of assortative mating and distinct effects on the romantic partner. Implications for the evolutionary psychology of mating tactics are discussed. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Social reputation and social behavior: A further validation of the Peer Nomination Inventory.

2 studies were done on the congruence of reputation and overt behavior. Ss were 255 5th- and 6th-grade boys. The Peer Nomination Inventory (Wiggins & Winder, 1961) was used to assess the reputation of each boy for Aggression, Dependency, Withdrawal, Depression, and Likeability. Ss were assigned to high-,medium-, and low-aggression reputation groups, and to analogous dependency reputation groups. Then, Ss were observed, respectively, in a Situational Test of Aggression and a Situational Test of Dependency. Findings support the conclusion that reputation is predictive of overt interpersonal behavior. A tentative conclusion is that overt dependency and overt aggression are less closely related than are those aspects of reputation. More specifically, the results are a partial validation of the Aggression and Dependency scales of the Peer Nomination Inventory. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)     

Optimism in close relationships: How seeing things in a positive light makes them so.

Does expecting positive outcomes--especially in important life domains such as relationships--make these positive outcomes more likely? In a longitudinal study of dating couples, the authors tested whether optimists (who have a cognitive disposition to expect positive outcomes) and their romantic partners are more satisfied in their relationships, and if so, whether this is due to optimists perceiving greater support from their partners. In cross-sectional analyses, both optimists and their partners indicated greater relationship satisfaction, an effect that was mediated by optimists' greater perceived support. When the couples engaged in a conflict conversation, optimists and their partners saw each other as engaging more constructively during the conflict, which in turn led both partners to feel that the conflict was better resolved 1 week later. In a 1-year follow-up, men's optimism predicted relationship status. Effects of optimism were mediated by the optimists' perceived support, which appears to promote a variety of beneficial processes in romantic relationships. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)