| Abstract: | Reviews the book, Reconcilable differences by Andrew Christensen and Neil S. Jacobson (see record 1999-04347-000). Christensen and Jacobson have written a book for couples in conflict. The book is presented as a self-help guide to aid couples in accepting incompatibilities and in developing greater intimacy. The emphasis is upon the development of compassionate acceptance, quite a departure from what one might expect from these authors. The authors maintain that when couples get embroiled in blame, hurt, withdrawal, and continuing argument, intimacy seems out of reach. The natural inclination is to try to change the partner-which often makes the conflict worse. The book's thesis is that acceptance is a way out of this impasse. The book is divided into four parts. Part I, "The Anatomy of Arguments," describes and analyzes many, many (perhaps too many) relationship conflicts. The six chapters are written to help the reader understand the principles of arguments and to apply the principles to his or her own conflicts. Part H, "From Argument to Acceptance," strikes to the heart of the authors' therapy and shows the ways a couple can learn acceptance of each other. Part III, "Deliberate Change through Acceptance," continues with the acceptance theme but illustrates how changes can occur. Part IV contains two outlier chapters, one on violence, infidelity, and emotional abuse where acceptance is not the recommended way to go, and the other on getting professional help. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved) |
